Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...

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(804): Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon... http://tfl.nu/v4as

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(870): View more from Arkansas

These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

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(870): These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American. http://tfl.nu/c8e4

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(209): View more from California

do you want me to make hamburgers?

(541): View more from Oregon

i'm vegan

(209): View more from California

i'll put lettuce on them

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(209): do you want me to make hamburgers? (541): i'm vegan (209): i'll put lettuce on them http://tfl.nu/hb72

Replies (37) Good night (7427) Bad night (884)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

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(203): I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust. http://tfl.nu/xny1

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(516): View more from New York

and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

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(516): and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants http://tfl.nu/bet3

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.

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(508): I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week. http://tfl.nu/6t8r

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(425): View more from Washington

Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while

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(425): Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while http://tfl.nu/c37v

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(409): View more from Texas

We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus

(1-409): View more from Texas

How are you texting me from 1998?

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(409): We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus (1-409): How are you texting me from 1998? http://tfl.nu/t1vq

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets

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(267): Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets http://tfl.nu/behk

Replies (7) Good night (1703) Bad night (508)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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(715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7

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(770): View more from Georgia

Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.

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(770): Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire. http://tfl.nu/2u40

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(914): View more from New York

He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List

(914): View more from New York

Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)

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(914): He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List (914): Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired) http://tfl.nu/bfp9

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(314): View more from Missouri

Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON

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(314): Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON http://tfl.nu/vk77

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."

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(252): I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE." http://tfl.nu/xtai

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(303): View more from Colorado

i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.

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(303): i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower. http://tfl.nu/pdu2

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