Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize