So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
