Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
