She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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