I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
