watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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