i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize