Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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