hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I could have mohawked her pubes.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
