just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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