Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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