But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
