He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize