U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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