I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
soo... how was my night?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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