after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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