You're completely useless in the revolution.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
