I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
someone threw a dead crab at me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Randomize
