Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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