they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
vagina is talking i cant
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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