its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
