Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
