we're chasing vodka with high fives
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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