The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize