In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
