Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
