sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
