Porn is love you can see.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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