Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
