I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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