True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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