Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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