it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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