were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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