I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize