screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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