At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
