So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
