Do you still have your period?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize