Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize