Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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