I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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