White coat. Heels.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
