there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
