physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
