I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I don't think brook has ever known best
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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