just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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