I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize