MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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