found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
