Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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