I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
