I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
