I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
