just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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