it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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