piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
