his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize